i've always had a fascination with ... wishing.
wishes, not quite hopes, but wishes
a sort of desire, but not exactly

sometimes i think about it. why do i wish for things so much?

my recent working theory is that "wishing" is a sort of...
an other side of a Curse, but something that works similarly
where you want something to happen
without you actually making it happen / without you being there / without consequence
a kind of a hands-off "wanting".
"hoping it happens on its own".

in the sort of hopeless state,
without energy to get something to happen for yourself for others or anything else,
without any actual practical chances for something to happen or come to you,
you wish.
well, atleast i do.

"oh, you wish"
said in times when something someone wishes for might never happen
because of their interference or because of some screwed up fate or procedure

then is it wrong for us to wish?
what, i didn't say it was wrong or anything. it's just an observation, there's no "then" or "if"
i wish all the time for all the things, too.
but all i ever want are not of material things
instead all the things so hopelessly... "intangible"
better situation. better people around me. i want to go somewhere, meet people, move someplace else
you can also wish for Time, of course. now that's one heck of an intangible, unobtainable something
all that's something you can't just get by money or anythin. well, money is involved if some of these are achievable maybe, but there's a lot more that takes place
and even then...



and you think and think, it easily becomes too much
so you just. leave it to wishes
throw it to the skies
write it on a paper strip and put it on bamboo branches or whatever
a hands-off "wanting".
a "wishlist".


i think way back whence when i started liking jirachi or wishes because of it
i don't think i was thinking about all that or were subconsciously aware of such implications
back then i just liked it because it was cool and fancy
it had a pretty aesthetic, jirachi was cute and stylish, it was associated with stars
and it had this kind of ephemeral, ethereal quality to it
"wish"
i mean, of course, i still think so today
i love jirachi and i like the aesthetic of wishing
i still hold the concept and the feeling, pretty close to me
but i guess as time goes on i think more about the what's and why's
even if i guess its not getting me any closer to anything
especially not towards what im wishing for


welp. may your wishes come true
one day
reckon you deserve it
especially if you. need it